Okay. I know its late, but I just came back from walking my dog, after drinking a half bottle of a FANTASTIC Cotes de Rhone.
HEY
Either walk her or smell the stinch of pee in the morning -- Miss Thang waits for no one.
Anyhooo...
I live in DC –Adams Morgan/Columbia Heights neighborhood. We have rodent issues. Not as bad as 5 years ago, but an issue nonetheless.
So
I’m walking down the street in my BR jeans, pea coat, black t-shirt, and grey blazer (I love Banana Republic for casual office and weekend gear), black patent boots (don’t laugh – they are waterproof, sexy, warm, and the heel is the lowest boot heel I own at a mere 1 1/2 inches - I bought them for a Moulin Rogue costume/rolepay years ago, and they just lasted... but anyways) with my head bobbing – feeling relaxed – lyrics and music flowing through my head – “Still Love Remains” from Seal’s “Human Beings” CD.
*ahhhh – a relaxing feeling it is with the snow every so lightly falling on my long locks*
All of a sudden - SOFT PETER - my b*tch snatched me forward, catapulting me to a full patent slide down 13th Street.
I pull back on her chain.
It does not matter because she is focused.
I see what she wants – a dirty, nasty, stinking assed rat (reminiscent of an actual Jersey rat) just a hair smaller than my 4 year old cat, which scurried from the alley under a nearby car. She dragged me from what started as a flat foot slide to a full ass slide to the snow covered grass near the parked car in an effort to catch the little nasty cat -- I mean, rat.
A nice catch for any respectful b*tch. I unfortunately have the misfortune of dealing with poor planning. Me and my shiny boots are no match for her.
At the end of my full ass slide ride, I was placed in front of the mysterious cutie’s house – the newbie who just bought the nice brownstone – the one with the Financial Times subscription. The reason I walk the damned dog in the first place instead of paying someone to do so.... anyway....
Mr. Mysterious finally says hello as he reaches to help me to my feet. I will forever be known as the girl on her ass in front of his home grasping the leash for the ranting, rat chasing, b*tch.
How f*cking embarrassing.
...I wonder how easy it is to get a prozac prescription for my dog.
She loves her space at the foot of my bed -- on her personal quilt most nights of the week (nowadays anyways). A situation close to home would have definitely threatened her livelihood.
She knew this.
B*tches I swear. Always out for Self.
That b*tch set me up.
Posted by Me at March 1, 2005 12:12 AMNow if that is not KARMA. Remember I told you of a like situation and you laughed your azz off.
LMAO
Posted by: Greg at March 1, 2005 08:13 AMlol...sorry I missed that...let me know next time you are about to walk that lil she-devil, and I will break out the video camera for the ensuing action.
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