Just for you Zeb, as mentioned in comments section....
March 30, 2005
Is it possible?...
Is it possible to have a healthy and prosperous non-monogamous intimate relationship?
I realize it’s a new day and we have managed to question and put out traditions as effortlessly and often as we put out the trash – but, monogamy? This might sound great to some, but I think everyone gets screwed in the end.
So – this is definitely not for me.
I know many have openly practiced entertaining multiple partners since ancient times, but it’s becoming more and more common and acceptable today. Some are considering this a new standard and consider it necessary to maintain intimate relationships.
I can barely maintain open non-monogamous non-intimate relationships. My system of “containers” for friends is protected with a velvet glove and iron fist.
And everyone knows it.
Hey. If needs are not being met in an intimate relationship, one is certain the issue is not with Self, and honest efforts have been made to rectify issues, then maybe - just maybe, the solution is to sever the relationship instead of adding a third or multiple wheels to keep it moving along.
Understand the situation and resolve accordingly.
Why not invest time and energy in trying to make what you have succeed if it’s so worthwhile and important to you?
Are more people opening intimate relationships because they are too immature to deal with commitment?
Is it that good new car smell, in love feeling that comes with the new relationships that folks want to keep in their lives?
Emotional immaturity?
Are people opening intimate relationships just for the sexual aspects?
Freedom to explore? Explore being sexually and/or emotionally involved with more than one person?
Need to feel “more love”?
B*llshit.
Grow up people.
Speaking of immaturity, I don’t know – MAYBE id find it acceptable for younger folks who discuss this in the start of intimate relationships to move forward and experiment for a while, but I’ve found that in many situations, with both younger and older couples, its suggested doors open for others to join once things are up and running.
…and oftentimes one partner is not comfortable with changes, but wants to remain open-minded.
Is it just sex? Does it lead to certain sexual deviations? The married “open” couples I’ve had the pleasure and displeasure of meeting have appeared to be truly abnormal.
And to think many have children growing up in with 3 or 4 “parents” or a steady flow of “aunties" and "uncles”.
Go to marriage or sex counseling. Talk more. Talk less. Try role-play. Take a pill – take two pills. Buy some movies, toys -- power tools even.
Group marriages?
Intimate networks?
Expanded families?
Triad relationships?
“Open your mind. Be free.”
F*ck that. Don’t open your mind for everything.
Protect your morals and values.
Protect your children – more and more innocence is being lost with each generation – don’t add to the tainting.
Protect you – against emotional, spiritual, and health harms and roadblocks.
Relationships wherein partners are responsible and have worthwhile employment, and a full spread of responsibilities (i.e., house, kids), just can’t afford time and energy sharing outside of the immediate “container” if the relationship is to flourish.
Too many eggs in the basket – one is bound to crack… and soil the entire container.
This is adding spice alright – Strychnine.
Hey. I know my way of dealing with non-intimate relationships might not be the healthiest for some, but it works for me – I wouldn’t necessarily prescribe this strong medicine for the next person – what keeps your life most organized for YOUR comfort and sanity is, of course, on you.
BUT
Know that there are so many benefits of a healthy, committed, monogamous, and intimate relationship, and a steady growth in fulfillment with Self happens to be one of them. Being with someone does not make a healthy person feel happier with Self, but instead – when with the right person, versus the wrong person, one is allowed to focus on Self and have energies to grow in a positive direction.
Effortlessly.
Find yourself worthy of a loving, one-on-one, intimate relationship. Should you have the opportunity to indulge -- jump in head first, and enjoy.
i just finished reading everything. is all this information coming from your brain? your imagination and ideas about diferent issues is so incredible. u need to write a book.(seriously)
Posted by: fred at January 24, 2006 01:45 PM@Fred
I cant stay committed long enough to write a book. Also, I like my writing unpolished – the very way it comes to thought and I’d be pissed once an editor took a good chopping to my stuff.
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