I was just yelled at by an older woman of color. She even wagged her finger at me, while holding her other hand on her hip.
I was speechless.
Oddly enough, I had no urge to respond in the “proper” southern way – “Yes Ma'am”.
Instead I just stood there with visions of bending her finger backwards.
I found humor in how animated she was. I already knew nothing she said would change my position.
In the end, as she rambled on about young folks not understanding, and raised both of her hands in the air as if asking for help from above. She gave me a last glance (or game face) looking for some reason (or for me to crack rather).
Instead, in my mind, I fought back the urge to suggest that she try a roll-on deodorant since the solid was definitely not working for her. Her armpit looked like an old jean pocket filled with lint and who knows what else was stuck under there.
Finally, I gave what I thought might be an appropriate response for the situation -- A sista girl eye roll, a hair toss, and a screw you old beotch brow raise and lip curl.
There was no way in hell I was giving up that parking space. She should know how to work her car in reverse a bit better.
Primo spaces are for the strong. She walked away after making a big sucking sound.
One word: Power
I can use a men's restroom without fear of arrest for indecency or perversion.
I love how others watch my long legs stroll about while wearing sexy skirts.
No matter what, someone somewhere will find something about my physical appearance to be appealing.
One word: Intuition
I can cross dress and be found cute instead of deviant.
Men fear the occasional outburst of irrepressible emotions, and in response give whatever is wanted.
I love mascara and the flutter of my eyelashes.
One word: Sexy
I can get laid whenever I want.
It’s okay to not carry my own bags.
I can enjoy multiple orgasms at an interval measured in minutes without being subjected to that pesky "refractory phase" time-out.
One word: Stilettos.
And best of all, my plan of ignoring things and hoping they will magically resolve themselves has been entirely successful…
Life is grand.