Maybe, after time, once we start to look more closely at our non-platonic relationships we find a million things wrong with our partner because we are afraid of success in relationships.
Maybe we are afraid to get exactly what we want – happiness in the next phase of our adulthood. The phase where we settle down (not settle for) so that we might enjoy the prime time of our lives. The time where after working hard at the workplace and to keep family together, happy, and successful – that it’s really become time to enjoy our lives with a special person – one we might give our undivided attention to.
Real sh*t folks. No half stepping.
Maybe we are afraid to show personal flaws that we really wish to change. I mean, while personally, I wear the majority of my flaws proudly on my arm like a Semper Fi tattoo, I have “secret” imperfections still.
Maybe the character flaws we point out in our partners are really flaws we find unacceptable in relationships. Or maybe the character flaws we point out in our partner are really reflections of ourselves, which could actually mean our partner and we have very close likenesses allowing understanding not easily found with “others”.
We are all screwed up in our own ways, and while I don’t think many have the disillusion of finding “perfection” in our partner – we do search for certain strengths in our partners where we are weak; tolerance of our imperfections; and a partner who is able to stand justly on the pedestal on which we want to place them.
I’ve learned one thing that’s for sure – people are like a bag of mixed nuts; some more salty than others. And while I like a good unsalted peanut and the occasional macadamia; brazils, pecans, almonds, filberts and cashews are definitely not my thing.
Those of us who have great partners and still feel the need to search the bag of nuts really need to understand which “maybe” we are dealing with.
Recently I reached into a bag of nuts and met an arsehole so big that you could land a jumbo f*cking jet there. I am normally really good about spotting them, but in this case I didn’t. I really should not have been in a situation to meet this person. Maybe I don’t appreciate what has been given to me. Maybe I am afraid of success.
There are a million maybes but one thing that’s for sure is the bag of nuts is always calling. This weekend, I decided to try a no-salt diet for a while.
I’ve developed an allergy to my cat in the past year. I would have given her away by now if I were not afraid someone else would have her put down.
She truly needs meds.
She claws away the carpet outside of closed doors.
My carpet outside of my first floor bathroom, daughter’s bedroom, third floor bathroom and my bedroom are in constant danger. Don’t make the mistake of closing the door to take a nap, bath, or poop. She claws constantly until the door is opened for her very slow, intentional, grand entrance – so you can imagine what several hours of nonstop clawing during a nap has done to the areas near the bedroom doors. Don’t dare sit on the toilet and forget to crack the door! Because of her I have taken to speed pooping instead of hearing her clawing and seeing her paws poke beneath the door. There is no way I can stand up after starting. Right?
She walks around the bathtub while it’s full.
She paces nonstop around the tub unless I strategically place lit candles in certain areas. She found out the hard (and hot) way what sniffing lit candles does to a little kitty. When candles are lit, she sits on the toilet whether the lid is up or down. She also makes a jump for my chest if it’s above water, so I must be sure to keep any area large enough for her to jump on and stand beneath water. We run the tub extra full at my house.
Rubber and plastic are part of her food groups.
She eats rubber bands. I found out about this in the very worse way – someone gave me a huge ball of rubber bands. I found it behind my computer desk with most of them eaten away and some shreds on the floor. She will also chew at a rubber band that’s keeping your hair together. She also loves cell phone charger cords – luckily not the larger ones for Blackberry units; but my sister has been out of a charger too many in the past year. I’m thinking maybe she buys the cheaper chargers that remind the cat of the rubber band ball I confiscated. If she fancied high-end leather things, her arse would have been thrown out of the front door by now.
She goes out of her way to walk over others.
She walks across me while I am sleeping or awake even if walking across me is the longest path to where she wants to go. I elbowed her just last week for walking across my ribs while I was sore and suffering from the flu.
She jumps on my lap while I am using the toilet.
Because of her I have taken to speed peeing in the mornings. When I am not in speed peeing mode, I keep my elbows on my thighs so there is not enough space for her to jump and land. At times she makes a go for it anyways, and when she does -- damn her claws hurt!
She wants to sleep on top.
Its one thing for a pet to want to lie on your tummy every once in a while but having to constantly push her from lying on my breast area so that she might place her face around my neck area is just beyond irritating. If you try pushing her away, not only does she return, but you might catch a claw. I oftentimes end up lying on my side because she is relentless.
She likes watching “things” go down the hole.
Be it cigarette, turd, or just plain old toilet paper – she sits there until everything goes down toilet. She also hangs her head far in once the water levels are low so that she might watch the water stream down along the inside of the bowl.
She desperately needs the attention of strangers.
She rubs all over strangers and jumps in their laps. It matters not to her if they are cat haters or just plain old scared sh*tless of her. She also crawls around their necks and claws and purrs. A friend asked if I’d considered Prozac.
My mini blinds have no strings.
She claws away and eats at the strings to draw the blinds.
She is in “heat” for several weeks at a time.
She has no shame about rubbing her arse against the chair for several minutes – mostly in front of company (or maybe that’s the only time I take notice). She howls all night long and makes attempts to run out the front door though she is a total house cat. A good rub against the dog is not out of the question for her. She also likes to sit her arse high in the air and rub it on the shoes and legs of strangers. Now, while I for one am not against a good foot job, its just plain old embarrassing.
Kinda turns you off to in-house puss huh?
Oh. Anyone who has experienced my puss is more than welcome to add other crazy things about it.
*snicker*
There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
I’m cooking my very first bunny tomorrow – Woo hoo!
I called Dean and Deluca yesterday and requested they order for me a fresh (same-day slaughter) rabbit from a nearby farm – all natural and organically fed of course!
My grandfather prepared rabbit for me, and now that he’s gone, I’ve decided to prepare it myself. Half and half – his style with a French/Virtues twist.
Here is my recipie - Wish me luck!
Rabbit Stew
Bacon (6 slices, chopped)
Bay Leaves (about 3 leaves)
Broth (beef, about 1.5 cups)
Celery (1 stalk including leaves)
Flour (2 tablespoons)
Garlic (4 cloves, chopped)
Leeks (2 stalks)
Mushrooms (about 2 handfuls)
Onions (3 large sweet, chopped)
Rabbit (divided into four parts)
Thyme (about 3 springs)
Wine (red, about ½ cup)
In Dutch oven, cook bacon until done, remove and cook onion and garlic in bacon drippings on low heat until translucent. Add rabbit pieces and cook until golden brown, placing small dustings of flour on chicken for darker browning as necessary. Add beef broth, wine, onions, mushrooms, and remainder of herbs and veggies (tied in cooking string) and slow cook for about an hour. Add more broth if necessary.
Wine: Chinon
Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive.
-Bugs Bunny