Teetering ever so delicately on the line between staying in a school where I detest both the work and the environs and sallying forth into a cold world of gnashing teeth determined to rend me to little bits…this is where I find myself now, on this day, preparing to battle my inner conflict. “No sun will shine in my day today…the high yellow moon won’t come out to play…”
Gee, I don’t really know where I stand…my melancholy is rising up to conquer my hope and joy…all I know is that my creative side is fussing madly, and I don’t know quite how to sate it. I draw, I write, I sing like a holy fool…what more can I do to quench the painful thirst coming from deep within my simple soul? I want to stay in school, I want to become an attorney and fight for people, and defend the things I believe in…yet, when the din of debt and dysfunction becomes too great a burden to bear, I want to run and hide away from everyone and everything – school, work, women, friends – none of them provide any solace, and shelter from the storm.
But face them all I must. Fuck it.