I Try Not To Be Too Temperamental

“my shit is gold I hold the pole of polarity/ I go on and fondle phrases/ ages/ before you ever heard the lion roar/ my minions were preparing for my birth…” – del, ’94 via satellite

goddamn, I know its been like a minute and a half since I wrote last, but shit, its not like a lot of people are reading this…

oh wait, if a lot of people are reading this, send money. right away. lots and lots of money. dough, moolah, cash, clams, shit, I will take pesos too. just like in cancun. I takes what you gots, senor.

but I digress.

I am tired. I could write a lot more about this, but I don’t want to ruffle any feathers. I, in fact, have written more about this, and am still debating whether to post it. fact is, I could write some beautiful ass blurb about my pain and struggles, but will the writing make it any easier? no. why not? because no one wants it to be their fault, no one wants to take the blame for their own actions. and until that happens, nothing will change. not all the cathartic scribbles on the face of the earth will change that. so for my money, fuck that writing shit.

oh, and fuck the san antonio spurs. times two. squared. *.

Fuckin’ Bears

I am convinced the Champaign-Urbana Bears (formerly of Chicago, nee the Decatur Staleys) are stinking up the field this season simply to spite ME. I realize this is a very egocentric view of things, and in the eyes of most people, this would be extremely hard to believe, because its hard for them to see how a football team (of 45 people, plus the seven+ person coaching staff, and the front office of untold numbers, scouts, etc.) would go out of its way to fail simply to aggravate one individual, especially a student in Washington DC who does not live in Champaign-Urbana, or Chicago, or Gary Indiana, or any of the surrounding areas, plus has little or no clout, power, money, or influence. I also don’t care what most people think. Most people are lemmings. These guys are doing it just to bug me. Which they are doing. Royally. Bastards.

27-9, Dolphins over Bears. Game Over.

Bubba Chuck

I am putting this up here for one person. Shiana. Read this, and maybe you will understand the complex feelings I have about your boy AI…how much I hope for him to make it, not so much as a basketball player, but as a man…anyway, check it out…I don’t want you to think I am just hating on him for no good reason…

From Letters RE: Mike Tyson Fight

From M. Pullen: “What the hell was Cuba Gooding Jr. on? Was that (pre-fight) interview with James Brown not a perfect 100 on the Unintentional Comedy Scale? I’m getting the giggles just thinking about it. Cuba all hopped up, bouncing off the walls, he was like one of those comedians on BET who bomb, just running off, being loud and not making one bit of sense. Watching Brown try to keep some semblance of sanity during that segment was hilarious, especially when Cuba got up, went behind the seats and started shadow-boxing, and Brown said, ‘Hey, there’s no railing there,’ and he had to try and pull Cuba back into his seat before he fell to his death. Kudos to Brown for a heroic performance, considering next he had to deal with a punch drunk and incomprehensible Joe Frazier! I can’t believe no one has mentioned this Cuba Gooding Jr. thing.”

(Note: I mentioned Cuba in the Tyson column, but couldn’t find the right place to give the incident its proper due — one of the goofiest interviews of all time, right up there with the time the “Cheers” cast appeared on the “Tonight Show” when they were all sauced. You really had to see it. Either Cuba was on something, or he’s completely insane. There’s no middle ground.) -Bill Simmons ESPN Page 2

Ol’ Virginny

I would like to give a special, super, swollen shout out to my man AC Green…for finally gettin’ some butt.

Congrats AC. After 38 long years…good times.

“A.C. is the man I have waited for my whole life. To know he has also been faithful in waiting for me is the best wedding present I could imagine,” said the new Mrs. Green, who is currently recovering in a Portland-area hospital.

Actually, I made that last part up. AC has an abstinence site, and its like, sooo cool to say no, dude. “Luckily I am on a very strict drug regimen…”

OK, you say, but how whipped is AC gonna be now? As long as he waited…he ain’t never gonna leave her, or backtalk her, or anything…he might give Doug Christie a run for his “Most Whipped Basketballer” money…or not. Nothing is weaker than that little signal thing Dougie does for his wife 80+ times a game…Doug Christie is the penultimate Captain…makes me glad the Lakes traded his sorry tail all those years ago…